Friday, December 29, 2006

I Hate My Job

Between the Holidays and the demon-fiends who run my factory deciding to hold a marathon inventory the week between Christmas and New Year when EVERY OTHER PERSON ON EARTH is spending most of their time figuring out where they're getting plastered this weekend I haven't had much time to follow up on all that big "Aaaaaand We're Back!" talk, but before I collapse after another day of guiding non-English-speaking people through the complicated process of pointing a scanner and pushing a button I'd like to share some thoughts:

- GREAT win for the 'Noles against UCLA! After this up-and-down-and-then-further-down-and-then-getting-shutout-by-Wake season it feels almost embarrassingly good to whup on on some sorry West Coast team (thank God for those Pac-10 defenses!). Bobby got another bowl win, LoBo had the game of his career - begging the question "where the hell was THAT the last four years???" - and for once it was the other team's QB throwing a game-clinching interception! Good times all around. There will be more on the game later, but in the meantime check out Rocky Top Talk's bad-ass Drive Chart of the game...

- I hope you absolutely rip up the NFL Lawrence Timmons! Thanks for all the blocked punts, huge stops, and the MASSIVE hit on Tebow. Every year during recruiting season there's one recruit that jumps out at me and just screams "SUPERSTAR!" and three years ago Timmons was that guy for me. I just had a feeling about him from day one, so seeing him leave early is extra sad for me. Thankfully my Signing Day crush from two years ago (Everette Brown) is primed to unleash hell next year!

- The Barry Zito signing...unbelievable. I'm not even a baseball guy and yet I'm outraged and confused by the whole thing. First of all, the Giants are based right across the bay from Oakland so they should know better than anyone that he's one of the most overrated pitchers in the game. Second of all, what were the odds that someone would overpay the guy by $50 million and it wouldn't be the Yankees or Red Sox? And finally, $126 million bucks can either get you 15 wins a year and an ERA over 4.00, or it could solve the financial worries of 15,000 American families...I love this country but man our priorities are fucked.

- In light of the Timmons incident Drew Rosenhaus just jumped to #1 on my list of "10 People I Will Punch in the Face If I Ever Meet Them in Person". Here's the revised list:
1. Drew "Trust me T.O. this is all going to work out great!" Rosenhaus
2. George W
3. Carrot Top
4. Any member of Panic! at the Disco
5. Tom Lemming
6. Paris Hilton (I don't hit women, but since she's more of a soul-sucking demon I think it's cool)
7. Urban Meyer
8. Josh Hartnett
9. The guy from the Pizza Hut commercial who can't believe the delivery kid screwed up again
10. Terry Bradshaw

- Did anyone see 335-lb. Andre Smith score a TD for Bama? Orlando Pace is the greatest offensive tackle I've ever seen...Smith could be better when it's all said and done.

- Finally saw "Talladega Nights" over the holidays, after hearing how it was so much better than "Anchorman". Whaaaaaaaa? IT'S THE SAME MOVIE! Don't get me wrong, if you saw my Pre-Season Top 24 you know how much I love "Anchorman" but all Will Ferrell did was switch Vince Vaughn for Sacha Baron Cohen and Christina Applegate for Leslie Bibb! Obviously I still thought the movie was great but give me Baxter and "Sex Panther" any day.

- Best of luck to you Aaron Jones. We hardly knew ye.

- When will 5-star recruits learn that RON ZOOK CAN'T COACH?!?

- It's hard for me to say this, but Brandon Warren needs to go home. The kid is a phenomenal talent and I think he could be one of the best to ever wear the Garnet & Gold, but when your mom has cancer you need to be there for her. At the very least take a redshirt year and take care of her for awhile. Some things are more important than football.

- If I was a Clemson fan, losing to Kentucky would be the absolute last straw for me. Has there ever been a coach that rips the heart out his fanbase more than Tommy Bowden? If he just flat-out sucked it wouldn't as traumatic, but he keeps pulling this crazy yo-yo act where he makes everyone believe he's finally got the program on solid footing, everything is going great and the Tigers are on track to be a legitimate contender...and then they completely meltdown and destroy all the momentum they'd built up AGAIN. I mean, how does a team that looked like a top 10 powerhouse six weeks ago wind up losing to South Carolina and Kentucky to end the year? How??? Seriously, I'm asking you HOW? because it's IN-EX-PLICK-A-BULL.

- Within one week FSU will probably have a real, live offensive coordinator! I'm giddy. Bobby, I just want to thank you for the thoughtful gift, it's just what I wanted!

All right ya'll, I swear once the masters at L&P quit crackin that whip I'll get back to blogging to my heart's content. In the meantime have a safe and happy New Year, and GO NOLES!


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